Wow. You guys are the most amazing supportive group I've been around. Sure we gripe and bash each other in Harpg/equine artists like a couple of soccer moms who have issues on the field but when it really comes down to life crisis, you put it all aside and you lean in to offer love, support and encouragement. It's the most amazing thing I've seen and I truly appreciate the support you all have directed towards me this weekend. I've read every single one of your messages in tears and am touched by the sincerity in your tones and your willingness to step out and help a friend in need. It's just so incredible.
So a little update. I haven't heard from Wes since yesterday at 4pm and then it was "Yes I'm coming home tonight but right now I just need time to myself to process...ect." This whole weekend has been about him and he's never once asked where I am or how I've been doing. He knows I know about the emails and every and he still insisted on going on a trip this weekend (a trip we were supposed to go on together to reconnect) so he left and I haven't seen him or really spoken more than 1 line sentences since Friday afternoon. He said we was going home last night but his parents have told me when they went to feed my animals this morning that his car was not there. So he didn't come home and I have no clue where he is and he has no clue where I am. It's a really weird feeling. Never in a million years thought I would be dealing with this. But at this point I have come to grips with the idea that either he's coming back and he's going to be on his knees begging for forgiveness, or he'll come back and have chosen to stay with her. If that's the case, it will be a long road a head to rebuild, but it wouldn't be quite as long as a road as the road to forgiveness is going to be for him. So if he doesn't want forgiveness, I'll know quick because it's not going to be easy now for him. Anyway, thats the rough cut of it. I don't know where I'm staying yet tonight. But I'm having to live hour by hour.
Thank you all so much for everything guys.
So things have progressed with my husband and I but not for the better. He's pretty much in an all out affair and I've left for the weekend and am staying with friends and family. So there you have it guys, this is what I'm dealing with right now and I'm really having a hard time with it. The one person I trusted a loved most in life has been lying to me repeatedly to my face, has touched me, has said he's loved me, has lead me on to believe we will be ok. But the whole time he's had someone else who he's shared the same thing with. It's truly devastating and I never imagined in a million years I'd be dealing with this. I don't have a plan yet, I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing so things are a big mess.
Umm I don't really know what else to say about it. There's not much. It is what it is and I need to figure out where to go from here. Thanks for all the support, you guys are always awesome. It doesn't look like I'll be around for a little bit but don't worry, I will be back, I promise. This is my only hobby, I will be back.
Current Projects: (Thank you guys for being so patient!)
0. Nordanner Ribbons---gaaa!! I forgot to finish them!!
P.S. If you offered me real money for one of my characters, I might consider it. But they would not be cheap in the least so don't even play around.